Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Attempting To Catch Up

The past several days have been so busy, I know I've neglected my blog so I'll do what I can here to catch everyone up.

This past Saturday we threw a party for my parents 40th anniversary.  This meant trying to get the house ready, cleaned, decorated all while taking care of the cubs.  Luckily mom and dad took them for their first overnight visit on Friday so we could accomplish this task.

Friday I ended up in a very melancholy mood.  Some of the people that came over here Friday to help decorate were friends of friends so I didn't really know them.  The woman was 5 months pregnant and her and her husband were really very helpful in decorating.  They were so helpful that I started to feel bad that they were doing all this and hadn't been invited to the party.  So I asked my folks if they would have a problem with inviting them, (since it was after all, their party).  They said no problem so I went ahead and asked them.  Almost immediately after doing so I regretted it.  This pregnant woman started to open up to me.  When the guys went outside she really opened up telling me that her husband was an alcoholic and abusive.  That she had just gone back to him and told him that if she did come back to him he had to quit drinking and smoking, and she meant smoking everything.  Foolish me I'm thinking this guy must dabble in smoking pot, but no she then tells me that he's smoking 'rock' which I believe means he's smoking crack???  She tells me that she thinks he's smoking rock again because he is hanging out with the person that brought them, (which really made me sad).  Then she goes on to tell me how she had social services breathing down her back and that she's already lost her son when social services took him away from her.  And this she tells me is because she choose to stay with her husband the crack smoking wife beater.

As I walked around my kitchen wiping counters and trying to take all of this in all I could keep repeating to her was, 'You need to think about that baby you have inside of you and do what is best for him'.

All night long all I could think about was that poor little baby boy that will be born into that mess.  What a rough way to start out life.  It also made me think of how lucky Calista and Alex are.  Their father and I may not have much of a clue most of the time, but one thing is for sure, they are so so very loved!  They have a stable home life and even though there are two of them and it's hard sometimes when I'm alone, I think I give them the attention and love they need and deserve.

So the worst part of motherhood for this blog is that more than ever I now feel for those poor little babies that are born into drug addiction, abusive homes and questionable parents.

The best part of motherhood for this blog is that I appreciate all of my family even more for how much they love and care for my children.  And because of that this unfortunate circumstance will never happen to my kids.

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