Friday, May 14, 2010

Leaving Our Mark Across Colorado

Tuesday morning found the Edwards clan up early feeding babies and getting ready for the drive back home.  First things first, of course our little Calista had to get her poopy mess out of the way.  After Ed changed that diaper he held it up and said, "We should hide this in this room somewhere".  He is quite the character isn't he?  But without hiding it, that room was pretty ripe.  I went down to get a little of the free breakfast, biscuits and gravy, and when I walked back into the room I was just about knocked over from the smell.

We got ourselves put together and Ed loaded up the car.  Each time he walked back into the room he would make a face about the smell and then chuckle a little.  I found a way to entertain the cubs while we got ready with pillows and cartoons.

Ed didn't want the freebie breakfast from Holiday Inn, so we took the cubs over to Denny's.  They were just the hit of Canon City... as if no one in that town had ever seen twins before!  Everyone stared at them and one older lady actually came over to the table and asked to hold Calista so I could eat.  I'm a little leery of strangers holding my babies, so I thanked her and told her we were fine.  Ed ate his breakfast and I picked at a breakfast burrito, I wasn't that hungry since I had the biscuits and gravy at the hotel.  But while we were eating Calista all of a sudden discovered her tongue.  I had her in some little overalls with a kitty on them and she kept putting her tongue out to taste the overall and the buckles that held them up.  So I took a dab of sour cream on my finger and put it on that protruding tongue.  She seemed to like that so I tried the same with some ketchup.  Alex just fell asleep in his car seat.

Done with breakfast it was time to hit the open road again.  About the time we were hitting the winding road between Canon City and Colorado Springs I started not feeling so well.  At first I thought it was a bladder or kidney infection because I was having so much pain all up the right side of my back (and I had a small sign of blood in my urine the week before... I know, TMI).  So I told Ed that when we got back I was going to see if I could get into a Dr.  By the time we passed the military base I was in sad shape.  I pulled into the first gas station I could find and headed for the bathroom.  When I came back out I just wasn't up to driving anymore and handed the keys to Ed, very unusual for me... I always do the driving.

As we pulled away I told Ed that I smelled poop and figured it must be Alex's turn for a poopy diaper.  But by now we were back on the highway so we figured we'd just get it next stop.  We didn't make it too far before we had to pull over again, but it wasn't at a gas station.  Ed had to pull over on the side of I-25 so I could puke out the door.  He merged back onto the freeway and this time we made it to Castle Rock when I had him pull over again.  This time we made it to a gas station, well kind of.  We stopped at a Conoco station and I made a bee line for the bathroom while he put Alex in the driver's seat and got his diaper changed.  There were no changing stations in the bathrooms so this was our only option.  I was in the bathroom forever, not really queasy, but just not feeling good.  I heard someone trying the door and knew I couldn't stay in there forever so I left there.  I got sat down in the car again, shut my door and immediately opened it back up again and threw up all over their parking lot.  The only thing I can figure is that it was some kind of food poisoning either from the Holiday Inn or Denny's in Canon City.  After that I started to improve.

Back on the road again!  Ed informed me that Alex wasn't poopy, but I still smelled it.  A little ways up the road again we're looking for a place to pull over and check diapers and feed babies.  We found Larkspur and drove through the town to find the one gas station they had.  Yet another Conoco with no changing station.  We got out the bottles and Ed started feeding Alex while I put Calista on the passenger's seat to get her changed.  Alas I found the poopy baby.  It had leaked out the side of her overall outfit and gotten on the car seat.  So I'm attempting to get her outfit completely changed, looking at the temperature it's 40 degrees out and my poor girl is butt naked.  Which means I need to move quickly, however I'm hunched over trying to get her changed in the passenger seat of our car.  Ed and I were both so frustrated that these places don't have a changing station we decide to teach them a lesson and throw the poopy diaper away inside their establishment.  I walked in, there were about 3 tables there for people to sit down and eat and at the first table was a family of 4 eating lunch.  Right by the door was a waste basket and that's where I threw that smelly poopy diaper!  I walked back out to the car and Ed and I had a knowing laugh between us.

Back in the car I started feeding Calista who is now in her jammies and without thinking about the consequences the poopy overalls are now in the diaper bag.  Ed has finished feeding Alex and we have the heat going full blast trying to warm up the car.  That's when we heard Alex grunt then Frrrpttttt and we knew.  So Ed went and got the diaper bag back out and Alex got changed in the driver's seat of the car and into his jammies he went.  And where did that smelly poopy diaper go?  Yep same place and another satisfied chuckle between mommy and daddy.

Finally everyone is fed, changed and ready to go home.  We made it the rest of the way home without having to stop again for peeing, pooping or puking.

I think the twins would've slept all the way through had I not had to stop so often to get sick.  In the end though between the four of us, three of us left our mark on most of Colorado this day.  And Ed, who is usually so proud to do these disgusting things, didn't do anything but drive and stop at every exit along the way.

The worst part of motherhood for this blog is idiots that own gas stations that don't put a changing station into their bathrooms.

The best part of motherhood for this blog is getting revenge on those gas stations by throwing out the poopy diapers in waste baskets that are next to where they are feeding people.  If they had any sense they'd realize that if I was able to change my child in a bathroom with a changing station I would throw the smelly diaper away in the bathroom.  But apparently common sense aludes them.

1 comment:

  1. Oh my goodness Carrie!!! What a miserable trip home! This is one you will never forget.....